That which she experiences in herself as energy and potency can also be experienced as pure destruction.
To say ‘yes’ to her powers was not simply a major act of nonconformity in the nineteenth century; even in our own time it has been assumed that Emily Dickinson, not patriarchal society, was ‘the problem.’ The more we come to recognize the unwritten and written laws and taboos underpinning patriarchy, the less problematical, surely, will seem the methods she chose."
Adrienne Rich “Vesuvius at Home: The Power of Emily Dickinson”
isn’t it great how we’ve been doing this for over 100 years? the worst is not the genius (male) // crazy (female) dichotomy, although that sucks obviously, the worst is the further pathway of: crazy (female) (because of a dude who broke her heart) (sad baby girl)
i was thinking, while reading, about why i love breakup songs by women - which is about this, that the scorned lover is only a muse for talking about how fucked over we all are in general, and so we can always sing along. and it made me think of fiona apple, mostly because i’ve been reading all these interviews with her recently, (also because of the “My life had stood—a Loaded Gun—” and “you fondle my trigger/then you blame my gun” echoes) and everyone is so quick to point out how weird she is and who she’s dated/who these new songs are about. but don’t we all know that even if jonathan ames’ cheating on her is a thing that happened, those songs aren’t about him. they’re about everything.
“all that loving must’ve been lacking something/if i got bored trying to figure you out/you let me down/i don’t even like you anymore at all”
this interview totally and completely consumed me. it’s the most intimate and evocative conversation with Fiona that I’ve ever read, and I’ve fucking read them all.
it’s raining outside and i’m sitting on a couch with my sleeping cats reading tumblr and tumblr-linked-articles and gchatting and getting ready to go to the first class of my masters program (remedial biology for english majors who want to help real people now and may need to understand human anatomy). this article mentions “never is a promise” so i started playing it while i finished the piece and then just let it keep repeating. and these things all together are so strangely exactly what i needed right now.
“i just want to feel everything”